it's been a month since I have truly gotten things off of my chest. In that month a lot has happened. So I'm gonna let it all out and pretend that I'm writing a book cause this is what it basically is right?
Ok so I caught feelings for a guy that I shouldn't be into. He talked to my used to be friend for a month. The only thong thatspeed me was the fact that I have liked him for a year now. Those feelings were changed when I was told I wasn't his type from somebody that only talked to him for a month. Is a month a long enough time to figure out what a person likes?I tAlked to this guy countless times I don't know why I didn't see him as that person. Then I also found out that he's the type of person to cheat on his girlfriend with other girls because he can't help that sexual attraction that comes with it. I don't want a guy like that. Why lower my expectations for someone who wouldn't do the same for me if I was that type of person. I just wish that someone could have told me sooner it was gonna end up like that.
I mean I shouldn't have a problem with that because the whole time I was liking the kid I couldn't help but think about the one person that continues to make my day without being here or talking to him. How is that possible? Before I met the guy that makes my day I thought it was all lies when I heard people say"you may or may not like them depending on how their personality is". Now I understand everything. This guy lives so far away from me yet he continues to make my day and empty problems away with just one smile or look.
Everything is reminding me of him and now that I've admitted he fact that I miss him I can't wait until he shows up again. I wonder if he's still gonna be that same person I met three or four months ago.
But even if things go to the next level would I be able to.handle a long distance.relationship? ' this question has bothered me to no stop because I don't know if I can. This wonderful guy could be feeling the same I feel right now I just wouldn't know.
Someone told me the day before he left and keeps reminding me that if it was meant to be I would have told him already. But I don't think that's the case. I didn't tell g because I am too afraid of rejection and with him living so fad. I guess I kind of figured that things would never work out between us. Never I'm just too afraid and that's the reason I am sitting here referring never getting his contract info. I should have done it while I had gotten the chance.
Good days patience is the key. So as I sit and wait for another year to pass before I could see him again maybe God is testing me to see if I can weight out the time of seeing him again. All one big test.if I can make it through the year to the summer then I can wait to see his face again if we ever happen to make it official.
This guy gives me butterflies. I wish I would have had the courage to tell him that I liked him.maybe there would have been a different outcome to the whole situation.
