Isn't it funny how we can love something or someone so much it's taken away from us at the blink of an eye or drop of a rain drop. It wasn't until recently that I realized we don't know when the end is. The end could be now. It could be after you finished doing something you love but no one ever knows until it's too late.
God is a mysterious worker. He works in ways we don't understand. One minute you think he's not there and then the next you've realized he was there every step of the way with you. God always sends blessings in disguises.
Many people may think that God isn't with them or he's not real or that he doesn't love you but that's not true. Do me a favor. Look around at all the things and people in your life. Do you think that without God they would be standing there?. God sends us angels from heaven to let us know that he is there with us and we are all in his hands. And he takes his angels back when the angel has done his or her job.
The angel God has sent you can be someone you don't like right now and God knows that but when no one is there the angel God sent you will there waiting for you to confide in him.
I'm writing this to tell you not to give up. You are an angel of God and he sent you to earth from heaven to be here for someone that you may not even know yet. Go is always protecting you. When things vet rough and he takes one of his angels from you to go back home know that God will send you another blessing.
God takes something so precious from you that you feel as though can't be replaced and that's true but the blessing God will send you is gonna be something or something you love just as much as the last.
So no matter what you may be going through God is there. He sees you battling and he will make it better. Keep your faith in him because whether you believe in him or not he's the one protecting not luck not your neighbor but God. Keep your faith in him and he will never leave you.
My friend lost someone dear to his family and him. When he told me I could tell and feel that he was sad. And it got me thinking about our life. So many people lose the ones whom they care for the most. God, He sees the anguish you guys hold for this Angel he has taken from you and right now he's saying to you all," just wait there's a blessing coming." It may be right after this accident happens, a few days, a few months or maybe a few years but God has something special for you all.
These things are unexpected but before they happen make sure things are right with the angel he has sent. If you don't know who it is then be nice to every one.
People go around with so much hate they forget what matters to them the most. And when it's too late they wish they could've gone back and done things differently. No matter how much anyone has caused you hurt and trouble forgiving them is how things get better.
Just know that God has a plan and he will never abandon that plan. He will never get angry with you and he will always lobe you. He has your blessing on the way. So keep that head of yours high and let God do all of the work.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Friday, October 10, 2014
be patient
it's been a month since I have truly gotten things off of my chest. In that month a lot has happened. So I'm gonna let it all out and pretend that I'm writing a book cause this is what it basically is right?
Ok so I caught feelings for a guy that I shouldn't be into. He talked to my used to be friend for a month. The only thong thatspeed me was the fact that I have liked him for a year now. Those feelings were changed when I was told I wasn't his type from somebody that only talked to him for a month. Is a month a long enough time to figure out what a person likes?I tAlked to this guy countless times I don't know why I didn't see him as that person. Then I also found out that he's the type of person to cheat on his girlfriend with other girls because he can't help that sexual attraction that comes with it. I don't want a guy like that. Why lower my expectations for someone who wouldn't do the same for me if I was that type of person. I just wish that someone could have told me sooner it was gonna end up like that.
I mean I shouldn't have a problem with that because the whole time I was liking the kid I couldn't help but think about the one person that continues to make my day without being here or talking to him. How is that possible? Before I met the guy that makes my day I thought it was all lies when I heard people say"you may or may not like them depending on how their personality is". Now I understand everything. This guy lives so far away from me yet he continues to make my day and empty problems away with just one smile or look.
Everything is reminding me of him and now that I've admitted he fact that I miss him I can't wait until he shows up again. I wonder if he's still gonna be that same person I met three or four months ago.
But even if things go to the next level would I be able to.handle a long distance.relationship? ' this question has bothered me to no stop because I don't know if I can. This wonderful guy could be feeling the same I feel right now I just wouldn't know.
Someone told me the day before he left and keeps reminding me that if it was meant to be I would have told him already. But I don't think that's the case. I didn't tell g because I am too afraid of rejection and with him living so fad. I guess I kind of figured that things would never work out between us. Never I'm just too afraid and that's the reason I am sitting here referring never getting his contract info. I should have done it while I had gotten the chance.
Good days patience is the key. So as I sit and wait for another year to pass before I could see him again maybe God is testing me to see if I can weight out the time of seeing him again. All one big test.if I can make it through the year to the summer then I can wait to see his face again if we ever happen to make it official.
This guy gives me butterflies. I wish I would have had the courage to tell him that I liked him.maybe there would have been a different outcome to the whole situation.
Ok so I caught feelings for a guy that I shouldn't be into. He talked to my used to be friend for a month. The only thong thatspeed me was the fact that I have liked him for a year now. Those feelings were changed when I was told I wasn't his type from somebody that only talked to him for a month. Is a month a long enough time to figure out what a person likes?I tAlked to this guy countless times I don't know why I didn't see him as that person. Then I also found out that he's the type of person to cheat on his girlfriend with other girls because he can't help that sexual attraction that comes with it. I don't want a guy like that. Why lower my expectations for someone who wouldn't do the same for me if I was that type of person. I just wish that someone could have told me sooner it was gonna end up like that.
I mean I shouldn't have a problem with that because the whole time I was liking the kid I couldn't help but think about the one person that continues to make my day without being here or talking to him. How is that possible? Before I met the guy that makes my day I thought it was all lies when I heard people say"you may or may not like them depending on how their personality is". Now I understand everything. This guy lives so far away from me yet he continues to make my day and empty problems away with just one smile or look.
Everything is reminding me of him and now that I've admitted he fact that I miss him I can't wait until he shows up again. I wonder if he's still gonna be that same person I met three or four months ago.
But even if things go to the next level would I be able to.handle a long distance.relationship? ' this question has bothered me to no stop because I don't know if I can. This wonderful guy could be feeling the same I feel right now I just wouldn't know.
Someone told me the day before he left and keeps reminding me that if it was meant to be I would have told him already. But I don't think that's the case. I didn't tell g because I am too afraid of rejection and with him living so fad. I guess I kind of figured that things would never work out between us. Never I'm just too afraid and that's the reason I am sitting here referring never getting his contract info. I should have done it while I had gotten the chance.
Good days patience is the key. So as I sit and wait for another year to pass before I could see him again maybe God is testing me to see if I can weight out the time of seeing him again. All one big test.if I can make it through the year to the summer then I can wait to see his face again if we ever happen to make it official.
This guy gives me butterflies. I wish I would have had the courage to tell him that I liked him.maybe there would have been a different outcome to the whole situation.
Monday, September 8, 2014
another him
I wish he would've never used my emotions against me cause even though I thought I was over him he's still the one person I like to talk about and see his face
I thought all of my emotions were gone. But when I saw that picture of h the emotions came back.
It's a bittersweet feeling that I can't shake away when I see that picture I wish it wasn't there until I knew for sure that my feelings for him were.gone.
When I had that dream of him last night it made me think that maybe there is a chance of moving on from him. I just wish it was as easy as people say.
I have distractions, I have accepted the fact I might actually love him I've tried gaining.New crushes bit who am I kidding it's no use. I don't want to use the new crushes as a rebound or whatever it's called for him when I know I'm not the one on his mind.
I went days without looking at his photos and that day out of all days had to be the one day I looked at it. Wrong choice.
I should stop reminiscing over what could have been and start paying attention to the things in front of me. I promise you though that if he was to come back into my life instead of saying no I would hurriedly say yes. The reason I say that is because somewhere buried inside of me I know that my feelings are strong as the first day I saw him.
I thought all of my emotions were gone. But when I saw that picture of h the emotions came back.
It's a bittersweet feeling that I can't shake away when I see that picture I wish it wasn't there until I knew for sure that my feelings for him were.gone.
When I had that dream of him last night it made me think that maybe there is a chance of moving on from him. I just wish it was as easy as people say.
I have distractions, I have accepted the fact I might actually love him I've tried gaining.New crushes bit who am I kidding it's no use. I don't want to use the new crushes as a rebound or whatever it's called for him when I know I'm not the one on his mind.
I went days without looking at his photos and that day out of all days had to be the one day I looked at it. Wrong choice.
I should stop reminiscing over what could have been and start paying attention to the things in front of me. I promise you though that if he was to come back into my life instead of saying no I would hurriedly say yes. The reason I say that is because somewhere buried inside of me I know that my feelings are strong as the first day I saw him.
i try
I try so hard to get him off of my.mind bit it never works. He's all I think about. I sometimes h I never met but I know we would regret not meeting him. I have tried to have other crushes but that's not even helping. It's only made matters worse. I just want to give up on it and everything.
I honestly don't know what's to be fought for. I like him and two other people. I thought that me not telling him would help me Throughout they year but turns out it o.my made my feelings for him expand. I just don't know what to do. I wish things would Starr living up to the way where I'm not hurt. But I guess that's how life works huh
I honestly don't know what's to be fought for. I like him and two other people. I thought that me not telling him would help me Throughout they year but turns out it o.my made my feelings for him expand. I just don't know what to do. I wish things would Starr living up to the way where I'm not hurt. But I guess that's how life works huh
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
my life
Everyone's life is un predictable.
My life is just full of surprises. Everyday there is something new that comes up out of no where or something about previous times comes along and ruins the day.
I might think I have no one but I'm just too blind to notice it right now.
I need time to process things. I can't get over something as easily as other's. I wish I was but I'm not. I just want to know what did I do to deserve this? It's like a broken record with this person.
I'm tired of the pain this person constantly brings to my life. I would like to think that this person is doing what's right for them but I know better than to believe what people say and do. I just hope things get better.
Whether people realize it or not I do NEED that person in my life. That person was my twin on the outside but what counts is on the inside.
The inside we were like two opposites when it came to things.
I wish that person would just do what was needed so everything could be the way it used to be.
I have forgiven that person for the things and pain they have caused throughout my life
I'm just not ready to accept the horrible truth. They always say the truth hurts and boy were they not lying. It hurts badly especially when it's something about someone who you would least expect.
Things will get better as time goes on. I can only.pray that everything is the way Jesus wants it to be.
Maybe this was his way of telling me things turn out the way he wants it to be.
My life is just full of surprises. Everyday there is something new that comes up out of no where or something about previous times comes along and ruins the day.
I might think I have no one but I'm just too blind to notice it right now.
I need time to process things. I can't get over something as easily as other's. I wish I was but I'm not. I just want to know what did I do to deserve this? It's like a broken record with this person.
I'm tired of the pain this person constantly brings to my life. I would like to think that this person is doing what's right for them but I know better than to believe what people say and do. I just hope things get better.
Whether people realize it or not I do NEED that person in my life. That person was my twin on the outside but what counts is on the inside.
The inside we were like two opposites when it came to things.
I wish that person would just do what was needed so everything could be the way it used to be.
I have forgiven that person for the things and pain they have caused throughout my life
I'm just not ready to accept the horrible truth. They always say the truth hurts and boy were they not lying. It hurts badly especially when it's something about someone who you would least expect.
Things will get better as time goes on. I can only.pray that everything is the way Jesus wants it to be.
Maybe this was his way of telling me things turn out the way he wants it to be.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
hurt
I'm hurt.
It's.not.physical hurt.it's emotional hurt.
Physical pain is something I can deal with but emotional pain I can not
I have been through so much and only God and my best friend knows.
It's all starting to build up now and I can say that I am hurt.
Emotionally.
I've had a crush recently and I can say now that I really liked him. He made me laugh and smile when I needed it the most. And now that he's gone I only have my best friends and God left to comforter me. But every one knows your best friends are not that funny sometimes especially when they know something is going on. They want to talk all about it.
My.family isn't.doing so well also and its tragic because it gets worse by the day. Everyday it's something new that tears us apart. Me as the over thinker I am makes things more complicated on myself than need be.
The only way I'm keeping same is thinking about him and hanging out with my YouTuber nest friend
She keeps me distracted for as long as I need by talking about videos which I don't mind because the people she follows are amazing. My other best friend gives me advice. She may thinks it doesn't help but it does a lot.
I guess the pain for me is missing him... and all this family crap. The other day I was writing a chapter for my story. It revealed some very personal things I would have never put on there but it went well with the story.
Now I think of my past and how the horrible things happened, along with my crush and this family drama. All of thatched together for me is nothing nut tearing me apart. It sucks. I shouldn't be living like this. No one should but yet we do it everyday.
Still as a child/teen there's things that I shouldn't be told because I might not be able to deal with it. This past month I've been told loads of things I shouldn't have hears. So mow as a result I think about it 24/7 and I haven't been able to sleep at.always.
It's really nerve reckoning really. I just don't know how to deal with this kind of stuff. And today I have had my.limit with it. Emotionally pain is so much worse than physical pain especially when it has happened over and over. I have met my reaching point and let me just say I am fed up with everything and everyone except this who have been nothing but good to me.
I thank those who have been nothing but good for me because it has helped cope with this HURT a little bit.
Right now I'm emotionally unstable and only Lord knows how long it's going to be
It's.not.physical hurt.it's emotional hurt.
Physical pain is something I can deal with but emotional pain I can not
I have been through so much and only God and my best friend knows.
It's all starting to build up now and I can say that I am hurt.
Emotionally.
I've had a crush recently and I can say now that I really liked him. He made me laugh and smile when I needed it the most. And now that he's gone I only have my best friends and God left to comforter me. But every one knows your best friends are not that funny sometimes especially when they know something is going on. They want to talk all about it.
My.family isn't.doing so well also and its tragic because it gets worse by the day. Everyday it's something new that tears us apart. Me as the over thinker I am makes things more complicated on myself than need be.
The only way I'm keeping same is thinking about him and hanging out with my YouTuber nest friend
She keeps me distracted for as long as I need by talking about videos which I don't mind because the people she follows are amazing. My other best friend gives me advice. She may thinks it doesn't help but it does a lot.
I guess the pain for me is missing him... and all this family crap. The other day I was writing a chapter for my story. It revealed some very personal things I would have never put on there but it went well with the story.
Now I think of my past and how the horrible things happened, along with my crush and this family drama. All of thatched together for me is nothing nut tearing me apart. It sucks. I shouldn't be living like this. No one should but yet we do it everyday.
Still as a child/teen there's things that I shouldn't be told because I might not be able to deal with it. This past month I've been told loads of things I shouldn't have hears. So mow as a result I think about it 24/7 and I haven't been able to sleep at.always.
It's really nerve reckoning really. I just don't know how to deal with this kind of stuff. And today I have had my.limit with it. Emotionally pain is so much worse than physical pain especially when it has happened over and over. I have met my reaching point and let me just say I am fed up with everything and everyone except this who have been nothing but good to me.
I thank those who have been nothing but good for me because it has helped cope with this HURT a little bit.
Right now I'm emotionally unstable and only Lord knows how long it's going to be
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