hurt

I'm hurt.

It's.not.physical hurt.it's emotional hurt.

Physical pain is something I can deal with but emotional pain I can not


I have been through so much and only God and my best friend knows.

It's all starting to build up now and I can say that I am hurt. 

Emotionally.

I've had a crush recently and I can say now that I really liked him. He made me laugh and smile when I needed it the most. And now that he's gone I only have my best friends and God left to comforter me. But every one knows your best friends are not that funny sometimes especially when they know something is going on. They want to talk all about it.

My.family isn't.doing so well also and its tragic because it gets worse by the day. Everyday it's something new that tears us apart. Me as the over thinker I am makes things more complicated on myself than need be.

The only way I'm keeping same is thinking about him and hanging out with my YouTuber nest friend
 She keeps me distracted for as long as I need by talking about videos which I don't mind because the people she follows are amazing. My other best friend gives me advice. She may thinks it doesn't help but it does a lot.

I guess the pain for me is missing him... and all this family crap. The other day I was writing a chapter for my story. It revealed some very personal things I would have never put on there but it went well with the story.

Now I think of my past and how the horrible things happened, along with my crush and this family drama. All of thatched together for me is nothing nut tearing me apart. It sucks. I shouldn't be living like this. No one should but yet we do it everyday.

Still as a child/teen there's things that I shouldn't be told because I might not be able to deal with it. This past month I've been told loads of things I shouldn't have hears. So mow as a result I think about it 24/7 and I haven't been able to sleep at.always.

It's really nerve reckoning really. I just don't know how to deal with this kind of stuff. And today I have had my.limit with it. Emotionally pain is so much worse than physical pain especially when it has happened over and over. I have met my reaching point and let me just say I am fed up with everything and everyone except this who have been nothing but good to me.

I thank those who have been nothing but good for me because it has helped cope with this HURT a little bit.

Right now I'm emotionally unstable and only Lord knows how long it's going to be